comment

"...myra sdey nape sbnarnyer???? besar sgt ker mslh tu????? kt luar tgk myra ok jer..???? tnang jer????" -a comment from my friend

yes,dear.im not going to show others that im not okay.it is less complicated that way,i guess.i am emotionally distracted.do you know how painful it is when you are actually pretending and acting that you're normal when you are actually not?you are forcing a smile but,deep down in your heart,you are crying.

maisarah

its been 10 years since i left sk taman nirwana!and guess what?i met(not exactly met) but yes my long lost primary friend,maisarah salleh at friendster!she added me,and at first i was reluctant to approve her.but then i did because i saw in her profile stated that she's from sktn.a few hours ago,i overlooked her profile and i saw her pictures!and yes,i did ring the bell.its her!no wonder she looked familiar! :)glad to have met u on friendster,dear!

don't

whats the point of telling others that "im not okay" when they didn't seem to understand my feelings?i'd rather tell them that "im okay" when im not.and yes,i am complex.don't try to pretend that you understand me when you exactly don't.because you are hurting me...more than you'll ever know...

sadness

i closed my eyes
wishing the sadness in me,
will fade away
but
when i opened my eyes again
i saw a girl,
stood in front of the mirror
the reflection
of the same old

me...

Job hunting

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

Today,me and kamal went hunting for jobs at klcc and times square.we went to Parkson,Petrosains,Marks and Spencer,Romp,British India,Kinokuniya,Times,Tower Records,Cold Storage,Aquaria,Metrojaya,FOS and Borders.yeah,a dozen.can't believe it.well,me and kamal filled up the forms at parkson.and then they called up for an interview immediately.

i was like,feelin kinda weird...you know with all the workin environment.there was this lady,she asked a few questions about my family and about my whereabouts.i havent had any working experiences before.so she asked me what do i know about the customer service.and i was like..."help out the customers when they needed help?...yeah thats it" and i had that smug on my face...(omg!wipe it off!wipe it off!).huhu.she said "okay and what else do you know about it?"

i started talking about the customer service i went to,at sogo with the wrapping stuff for customers and all.she was like "yes,but here,things are different.we dont have the wrapping for gifts because we already have the wrapping counter.but instead,we have the memberships,bonus link...ect2".and then she looked at me."can you handle pressure?".i took a deep breath,"yes,i can"(omg!thats a lie!i can never handle pressure!).and then i continued..."since,in cfs i was the student council,i had to handle many things and i had to deal with a lot of people.and yes,i can handle pressure(yeah,i pretended to)"

she was nodding her head.i asked her about the day off for weekends.she said its quite impossible to get the weekends off.(but i dont want to work on weekends!).and she asked about the transportation.well of course i had to take the putra.its quite impossible to get my daddy to fetch me at 10pm since he's kinda busy lately and comes back home late.clearly,i'll be having transportation problems.the lady said its kinda tough then but she'll give a call soon.

i thanked her and i called in kamal to see the lady.he came out in about less than 10 mins.he smiled.i asked him what did the lady asked.and he told all about it.i told mine.kamal said the lady told him that he could report to her by tomorrow straight away,since kamal doesnt seem to have any problems working until 10pm.yeah,congrats to you kamal.and then we tried filling in forms for cold storage.there's this one indian feller gave 'em to us.

and we went into the stock room(boxes everywhere...and two guys were arguing about dishwashers?funny!its as if dont they have anything else to debate about,lol!!) to get interviewed right away.the woman has that stern look on her face.never judge a book by its cover.(yeah2,i was told).kamal went in first.when he came out,he said it was similar to the parkson's interview.ok,cool.then i entered.i wished her good afternoon.and when i sat down i was like "hi".she asked whether i had any working experiences.(of course i've never had any.huhu).and i told her that my muet is getting nearer but it'll take up only two days.no worries.

and my holidays is about only 2 months left.she said she'll discuss with her boss about it.and she'll confirm with us soon.okay2.almost.the same answer.we hunt for several other shops.and most of them are full,need permanent workers,non-wearing tudung workers,blah3...the last place we went was the borders which is at times square.we only filled up forms given by a 12 year old kid.haha.(at least i thought he's a 12 year old)yeah,judging by his looks,he does look like he's too young to work there.(seriously).

oh yeah,and i met acap boye and his friend.at klcc when me and kamal were about to climb up the escalator.acap asked me,"sape ni?"."kawan",i answered.and he was like"kawan?".he had that 'i-don't-believe-you' look painted on his face.and then we went in different directions.kamal just smiled and asked me who was that.i told me he's a friend of mine in integomb.while in ts,we met kamals friend,aisyah.it was her turn to ask who am i.yeah.kamal introduced me to her.

well.about 4pm,me and kamal decided to go home.while in the monorail,it was raining heavily.i walked down the stairs at medan tuanku and took out my umbrella,headed straight back home.i had to admit,i was having backache most of the time.i felt so wiped out and exhausted.i told my mommy all about it.and thats about it.(err...this post is a little toooo long).end.

Hotlink Caller ringtone commercial

The first time i looked at the commercial,i was like"hey,that's naby!"...yeah,at least i think she's naby.but yeah.the girl looks exactly like her.i guess.huhu.

Shop Around-David Archuleta

My favourite!

David Archuleta!Shop Around.

Visiting No'or

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

highlight to the name,muhamad nur asyraf

no'or and hosni.ignore hosni.

left to rite: byan's brother,no'or,ipin,hosni,
byan's mom

note: click on the picture to enlarge

today,me and well,my other friends(more than 30 of them) packed up in noor's ward,[didi,hakim,ejat,mim,hosni,amira,keon,mae,syera,byan,yati,aish,yaya,ayunni,man cat,nik,iz,izzudin,irshad,shahir,acid,aidil,roy,ipin,john,acap musik,boye,afiq,hendro,syazwan,buff, hannah,dijah,nasaai,anas].at first after hakim fetched me,we had some trouble finding the hospital,we were back at the same place for about 3 times.and the traffic was kind of heavy.we reached there(pusat radioterapi dan onkologi) and ejat and syamim welcomed us.i met ayunni at the main entrance,greeted her and the four of us(not including ayunni) walked into the hospimart(as far i remembered),to buy some souvenirs for our dearest no'or.on our way there,i asked ejat what was the thing he was so keen to tell me earlier.

as usual,he can't stop cracking up jokes.(that is so typically ejat).he started talking about how he was sent to the hospital when he can't breathe and i suddenly cut him."weh ni cite betul ke tipu?".syamim and hakim laughed."cite betul arr".he showed his hospital card to me.and i was like yea2.i believe u.uhuk.we walked into the store.ejat and his ermm...childish yet funny attidude thought of buying a baloon with a happy face on it.well,of course,i thought he was joking.and then ejat showed something to me and hakim,"kite beli ni ah tuk no'or"...(pads??what?!) and he laughed.my god,ejat.get real.haha.

we were lining up to pay for the small hamper of fruits for no'or,and guess what?ejat,paid for the smiley baloon!hahaha.i felt like laughing my head off!huhu.grow up ejat.hahaha!!and we made our way to the onkologi dpt again.i met other guys as well.at that time i was the only girl.other girls were performing solat.i chit chatted with acap musik,john,syazwan,hakim at the hallway,while waiting for didi.huhu.after quite some time,well,syamim said "man cat ade kat dlm gak" i was like...alaa,he's in there too?"perfect"(sarcastically)and then didi,yaya and amira came by.i hugged didi.huhu.the last time i saw her was last year,during our reunion at aidil's house.that was like more than 6 months ago!

mae and syera(with her other friend,anonymous) came.and we,the girls,entered to see no'or condition.feeling rather curious(since it was written in the blog that noor's leg had been cut).well,i was relieved *sigh* to see that his legs are still attached to his body.yea.we talked.and i heard that izwan gave him a gameboy.cool.there were gifts and souvenirs and other stuff for him.and i was really glad to see the smile on his face.huhu.sorry no'or.i stared at you most of the time.keon came by with her baju kurung.and we talked.since we hadn't meet up for quite some time.well,no'or was telling us about all the radiotherapy and chemotherapy session.we listened to him.i(i mean we) felt terribly sorry for him and his family.his mom and dad sat on the bed opposite his',wearing painful expressions on their faces.

earlier,my friend told me that the person who's supposed to be in the bed opposite of noor's,had died.oh my....bitter.later,we decided to say goodbye to no'or.and they took pictures.it was a really sad moment.i managed to capture a couple of noor's pictures.will upload them soon.get well soon,no'or, and we do hope that you can resume your studies in utp as soon as possible(no'or,no doubt you are a bright student) and live your life normally like others.InsyaAllah.we'll remember you in our prayers.

appreciate

after i've read about no'or...
its as if i can never be happy anymore...
we must learn how to appreciate life while we can...
no'or,we'll pray for you...
get well soon... :'(

...

i just need some time for myself...

sakit

aduh,sakitnya hati...

Loathe

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

i was awaken by a message.surprise,surprise.who is it from?three wrong guesses.yes.it was her again.i looked at the time.550am.i read her message again and again.i blinked several times.she just won't give up.i thought.feeling rather scared and angry,i shed tears and yes,pretty much i was shiverring.my right hand was cold.at the same time,stomach muscles tightened.im still having the cramps.

i sent a message to him.just to express how i really felt at that time.minutes passed by,almost 650am.i can't sleep.i sat on my bed.thinking.who is she?what does she want from him?she's obsessed to get to know about him?the point is him?what are you talking about?it doesn't make any sense...at all.

stop barging in into other people's life and relationship.find another guy.stop bothering my guy.

can you

can you or can you not handle the truth?

terengganu

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

well,a couple of days ago,my dad came home and he talked about working in terengganu?ohhh wait.why terengganu?haha.i dont know.im not quite sure whether he'll be working there or not.but if he is going to,we will have to move to terengganu!erk!i dont want to live in terengganu.im an urban girl.not a kampung girl.uhuk.this is a nightmare!soon i'll be visiting beaches,pasar and the giant supermarket at kuala terengganu.rather than midvalley,klcc or sunway pyramid.*sob2*.my daddy said he'll confirm about it soon.erk.

sign in

yesterday i had some trouble trying to sign in into my blog.user name not available?what??haha.stupid blogger account.but yeah,today i could sign in again.yeay!

health carnival and sunway pyramid

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful

Yesterday,i woke up and perform solat subuh as usual,but.i took a shower and dressed up instead.why?because me,my dear and my kakak planned to go to the heath carnival.its not that we were into it,but we just wanted to watch the plain perform.huhu.support them.i met my dearie dear at kl central about 930am.and then we got on the ktm to head off to batu 3.

when we reached there.well,we waited for approximately an hour.for kakak to fetch us.my mistake i guess.hmm.but its ok.then we made our way to the plaza something2 shah alam and parjked there.we walked to the merdeka square of shah alam.(we thought it was the right actually its not).when we sat down and i was kinda puzzled at first.i thought this is a heath carnival?then where is the health stuff?

the only thongs over are the helmets and scooters?err...does that have anything to do with health?and the "berhati-hati di jalan raya" banner?where's the stage?are we being punk'd?(haha.okay,im overreacting).but...are they for real???hmmm.kakak was talking to a guy beside her.i ignored them.and then kakak had that erm...undescribable look on her face.haha.can i say that?

well,yeah.guess what its was not the place we thought we were.haha.and then we searched for the right venue.and yes.finally.haha.we parked at the library.and walked towards the canopies.we heard a woman talking about diebetes.and then we knew right away that was the correct place.health carnival it is. =)

the health carnival was nothing much.we met the members of the plain.and we were listening to their piece.yup,had to admit it...they were good.i met my lovely sister,kak hazirah. :).i was so happy and delighted to see her!we chatted for a while and we took seats at the canopy in front of the stage.it was hot!i regretted wearing the tshirt and my sweater.uhh.darn it.

after one performance.we decided to took off and go to sunway pyramid.well,kakak followed us.i don't mind,but its was kinda awkward.haha.im fine with it.we watched a movie,the tattooist.the movie wasnt that scary.but it was okay.we had our lunch at 440pm.i was starving eversince we reached the dataran.huhu.cant do anything about it though.

after that,we decided to head back home.kakak dropped me and my dearie at asia jaya station.we returnedback to kl central.we performed solat and took some pictures together.he took the ktm while i took the putra.i had a hard time saying goodbye and get all emotional.huhu.i reached about 730pm.my mommy kinda "bising",but its alritey then,i guess.haha

overall yesterday was okay.not great but okay.but yes,i was smiling yesterday. :)

Forever-Kristy Lee Cook

Artist : Kristy Lee Cook (American Idol Season 7)
Original song from Mariah Carey

Forever

Those days of love are gone
Our time is through
Still I burn on and on
All of my life
Only for you

From now
Until forever
And ever, my darling
Forever
You will always be the only one

As long as I shall live
I'll hold you dear ..yeah
And I will reminisce
Of our love all through the years

From now
Until forever
And ever
Forever
You will always be the only one

Click here to watch Kristy's Performance

survey 011

1.Three days from now, will you be a
in relationship?
-haha.funny question

2. What color are your eyes?
-dark brown

3. What are you listening to right now?
-baby love-nicole scherzinger

4. What were you doing 46 seconds ago?
-pop a spoonful of chocolate indulgence in my mouth?

5. What are your plans for this
weekend?
-*smile*

6. What are you doing tomorrow?
-tomorrow is saturday=weekend=*smile*

7. Have you ever stayed awake for 48
hours?
-i need sleep.but i've stayed awake for 23 hours and 15 mins.hahaha

8. Do you like your first name?
-indeed.my exotic name.haha

9. Are you from a small town?
- idts

10. If you had the chance, would you
move to another country?
-yes!!for sure!london please.

11. Eyeliner or mascara?
-eyeliner.i dont need any mascara

12. What kind of food is your favorite?
-italian,chinese

13. If you were pregnant, would you
want it to be a boy or girl?
-boy

14. Have you ever been to counseling?
-yes.i had to because i was sent there to see the school counsellor.

15. What kind of cell phone do you
have?
-sony ericsson w810i

Stay away from me.

Boy,just stay away from me!you had cause me tonnes of troubles in my past.i've had enough of you.so don't act so innocent and add me up at friendster or facebook or myspace.i lose my appetite just by looking at your name at my profile views.you are one pathetic boy...seriously.darn it.get out of my face and buzz off!im NOT afraid to say that i HATE you.because i've suffered a lot.

MUET

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

Today,i went to cfs.i met hawa at kl central so that we could take a bus from there.there,we met qiqi.we chatted while waiting for our no.12 bus.qiqi's going to one utama to watch a movie(i never knew we could take a bus to go to one utama.lol).well,the main reason i went to cfs today is because i wanted to take my muet slip and not to forget my muet exercise book from my friend(since she had borrowed it in the last semester).

we hop on the bus and open our purses to pay up.as usual,hawa paint her face with a sweet innocent look(bluek!haha) and told the makcik the fare is for two.and i was like,hey just take the money then.but,no.she was like,"xpe2".ugh.i wish i could wipe the smirk off your face at that time,wa.

huhu,we passed the pak guard and made our way to kc and she stuffed her bags into huda's room(wa's roomate).and then we headed off to amf hall,to meet hanis.we accompanied her to the mahallah office in zc.and next stop is the admission and records department.we took our slips and went for a drink at a cafe.

i messaged kakak to take my muet book,since my friend passed it to her.but she had already went home.poor me.but insyaallah,i'll be seeing her tomorrow then. =) and so,i decided,i should go home by then,since i don't have any other stuff to do.i walked to the main gate and luckily the bus was waiting for me.(haha!).i climbed into the bus and sat beside an unrecognised uia girl.

in front of me,there was a chinese woman.with her baby.i was looking at the baby most of the time.the woman entertained her child and the baby looked at her with those lovely eyes.the baby was drooling on her mom's tshirt, he's extremely adorable,with his tiny lips and cute nose!i feel like i wanted to pinch his cheeks!(but i didn't do it of course).

but then the woman got off at bangsar.alaa...bye2 baby.huhu.after a few stops,i got off at central market.boy it was kinda hot,and at that time,they've just finished friday prayers,the masjid jamek area was flooded with guys.up to masjid india,still the same,accept there,most of them are indian muslims.i was tired.but i kept on walking faster and faster.

and seriously,my sandals are killing me.(i should've worn shoes)i wish i could just teleport myself back home(that was ridiculous but what can i do?) and i thought i could've tossed my sandals in the rubbish bin and walk barefeet instead.haha.yeay.after a few mins.i reached home.(finally!).so basically,i went to cfs today just to get the stupid slip?pathetic.the end of my story for today.

Young love

Young Love

Love is patient, love is kind,
And what our loves express is true.
No amount of tragedy can tear
Or break the love I have for you.

Time has healed our many wounds,
But has not erased the memory.
But we'll hold on, we'll stay together.
We will get through this, you and me.

Though we are young and still learning
About ourselves, our world today,
In my heart, I'll always love you,
And in my heart you'll always stay.

As days go by, as time progresses,
We will change, mature, and always grow.
But as we grow, as we reminisce,
There is one thing I will always know.

My love for you will never falter,
Never cease, for it's always true.
With love comes patience, but it's worth the wait,
To share my unending love with you.

- Jessica Wheaton -

**This poem is dedicated to you,my dear...

friendster

from 956 down to 593?huhu.i've deleted 363 of my friends in friendster.well.they are not exactly my friends since i dont really know them.they've added me,and so,i approved them.but it was useless,so thats why i decided to deleted them.sorry guys...i think only real friends deserve a place in my friends list.not just some weirdo from somewhere.

untitled

life's too short to be somebody else...

survey 010

1. Can ex-lovers be friends?
- i don't really think so

2. Do you think it's ok to date
someone if u r committed already?
-its not ok

3. What do u think is the biggest
cause of a break up?
-losing faith in each other i guess or maybe because of being cheated?

4 . Are you in love with someone at
the moment?
-am i?lol!

5 . Are you missing someone at the
moment?
-definitely yes.that particular someone and my brothers

6. Would you die for the one you
love?
-as for my family members then its a yes

7. Do you think love hurts?
-yeah.of course

8. What's the worst thing about being
in love?
-we tend to become emotional? :p

9. Will you wait for someone you love?
-yes i will.but as for my previous love life,i would rather not.

10. What song best describes your life
at this moment?
-is it you?-cassie

11. Do you wanna get married?
-yes,for sure

12 When?
-i dunno.around 25 i guess

13. Is love always on your side or the
opposite way?
-it didnt went well previouly,but i hope this one would last

14. Do you have a gay/lesbian/bisexual
friend?
-what do u expect?i was a cbner.and yes i have.

15. Are you sick of love?
-for the time being.frankly no

16. What do u want so bad right now?
-wanted to see my brothers and that someone2.

17. What's the song that u last
downloaded?
-killa by cherish,its a step up 2 soundtrack

Accepting changes in life

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

In life i think i've had too much changes and deep down,it hurts to think about it.because i had to leave something when i was actually started to get used to it.standard 1 i was in sk taman nirwana ,everything was okay,but in standard 2 in the month of september,i'd to change school due to the fact that me and my family moved to a new house in town.i went to a new school,sk sultan hishamuddin alam shah for just a couple of months.

and then welcome sk convent bukit nanas 2!i enjoyed being around my friends during stadard 3.but then,i managed to pass PTS and goodbye my batchmates so...hello seniors...!it was kind of awkward being around them at first,since i was younger than them.but yeah,they were quite nice after all and i get to adjust myself among the crowds.(yeay!)standard 6 was okay.nothing much happened except for my horrible result for upsr-(not really btw.haha).

form 1 was kinda difficult.so many new faces.from different primary schools in smk convent bukit nanas. but everything went on well and perfectly fine until form 3.(because we had to stay in the same class for 3 years!)supercool.yeah,form 4?new faces again?but still,they were my batchmates.i didnt really had a hard time adjusting at that moment since i was involved with the interclass drama competition and choral speaking competition and we had to cooperate and everyone had to contribute something.

i was thinking that i will finish up my studies and graduate in highschool(in cbn).unfortunately...one day in the month of august 2005(i was in form 4) i received a letter."urusan seri paduka baginda"?oh my,what could it be?i've gotten an admission letter to enter sbpi gombak.i don't know,whether i was supposed to feel happy or sad at that time.feeling rather confused,my mommy made up the decision for me.and its a yes,im going to sbpi gombak.

i had to leave my dearest friends again,for the hundreth time.well,i left cbn for integomb.i was feeling hyped and sad at the same time.(i really am confused.poor me).i had to bear with the alien stares again and again.(*sigh*).but things turned out to be okay.i wasnt homesick.i enjoyed my life(and i suffered a lot too).but i had to move forward without turning back.(and i really do miss my cbn friends-the first few weeks i contacted azela and my pet sis)

and then,that's the end of my school life as a teenager.i entered uia.and i enrolled myself as an architecture student.due to some reasons,i made a rather stupid decision will gives a big impact.yes,i switched to engineering.(bye2 my 1 year aed friends.*sob2*..hello engineering friends)after the first sem i applied to return back to aed!(why??dont ask me why).pathetic isn't it?(which means goodbye engin friends,hello 2 year programme aed friends).

and right now,i have to say goodbye to my 1 year programme aed friends and my fscc friends since they will be goin to gombak and kuantan campus soon enough.and tonight,i had to say goodbye to my dearest one and only,since he'll return back to cfs tomorrow morning.i really am going to miss you.(wont be seeing you until taaruf week,[or maybe earlier than that]-since i dont have shortsem.huhu)

goodbye my darling friends and goodbye my love.

Is it you?

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows the way
The way I like to have my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Im Thinking you're the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain
Someone who I can run to, who will stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust who's heart is right
And I'm looking for someone...

Taken from Is it you?-Cassie (a part of the lyric)

**dedicated to my one and only.

Pain

You can't see the pain that lies in her eyes,
But, alas, her eyes are dry,

You see the anger that burns from her gaze,
The madness that sets her eyes ablaze,

You see the fear that closes her eyes,
The smile she wears is but a disguise,

You see the hope that is finally dead,
She cannot trust for her heart has been bled,

You see the love that lies within,
But she shall never love again,

You see death's hand that has glazed her eyes,
No one saw her die inside.

-Jp Poet-

I know what you did last summer

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

Another boring day yesterday,but at least i've watched 3 movies,(I know what you did last summer,But im a cheerleader and Cheaper by the dozen).but here's the review for i know what u did last summer,


The story begins with four teens with celebrating the July 4th holiday, their last summer before heading their separate ways following high school graduation. The voice of reason is Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt), a girl with a good heart (which of course means that she'll probably be the only one to survive the ordeal). Helen (Sarah Michelle Gellar),Barry (Ryan Phillippe),Ray (Freddie Prinze Jr.). On their way home from a night of partying, they run over a man who wanders onto the road. Fearing the consequences of their actions, they decide to dump the body off a pier and make a vow of silence concerning the accident.

The following summer, things are not going well. Julie has become a morose angry-young-woman. Helen's dreams of an acting career in New York have fizzled out. Ray is working on a boat as a fisherman. And Barry... is just Barry. Though their friendship is strained, they are soon brought together again when they all receive a handwritten note that says "I know what you did last summer". Obviously, their terrible secret is no longer a secret. The stakes go up when they are each terrorized by a mysterious stranger and people around them start winding up dead.

*but im a cheerleader is just a stupid movie.and cheaper by the dozen is a family movie,but i like it.

it hurts

"it hurts when we try to keep on hiding our own emotions
and it hurts even more,
when the ones we love never seem to understand how we feel..."

-I hate my thoughts, and envy all these words, just trying to find a way to tell you,that i'm okay-

different

No, I've never seen myself like this before
& Maybe it scares me, too
To know that different things
Take different times to fall apart.
But they always do.

crumble

there's beauty in a breakdown
dont catch her when she falls
let her crumble to the ground

Rizal

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

candid.rizal

representatives for tennis competition-district level.

there,its my brother.(the first picture-lol!).he's currently in SMS Tuanku Jaafar,Kuala Pilah.Well,i do miss him since i have no other siblings at home with me for the time being.surprisingly,i've discovered that my brother could really lend an ear and listen to my problems!

since,i don't have anyone else to turn into who's really3 dear to me,besides my parents and my big brother(away),i chose to confide into him.he's not that matured,but i guess the small gap between us(he's 17 and im 18 this year) makes us closer.(frankly he doesnt talk much-even with our parents).

growing up with my brothers sure is better than to have a sister who never understands me.(no offence)and yes,im glad to have both of them in my life!i love you! :)


**i've learned that we should appreciate the people around us,and what we have.
*smile* :)

a lesson to be learned

highlight of the day

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

today is indeed...err...another boring day.yeay for me!the highlight of the day is..i baked some chocolate chunk cookies.haha.i baked mine,my mommy baked hers.yeah,obviously hers is better than mine.lol.still,mine is...erm...not bad.huhu.(i should learn how to cook and bake more).will do.

and all together, i had 12 hours of sleep today.more than enough.huhu.what do you expect?do i have anything else to do?nope.guess not.haha.pathetic me leading a pathetic life.that is just...pathetically perfect.

dear someone...

well,you seemed to be just fine and nice when you were talking right in front of me.but why did you have to go and tell your friends,about how i acted,and all sorts of stuff?as the matter of fact,you don't even know the truth.how could you spread such crap stories?just to make the story look good?guess what,you are absolutely wrong.

if you are so kind,you shouldn't be acting like that.tell you what,if you hate me so much,stop backbiting me.come and tell it to my face then.(for whatsoever your stupid reason is).dear,if you are scared to do so,you are no doubt a scaredy cat and you are afraid to face the truth.

*haha.i feel better.

ignorance

look alike

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

My lil' pet-sister,Mas called me yesterday,she told me she was nervous for her exams.and all of a sudden she started talking about the new form 4 student,Mas said the girl looks like me!and so its true then,like awin(former dormmate-damai 5 2005/06)she had told me once in her comment in friendster.

"Awin
02/23/2008 7:16 pm
awin dpt roomate yg best2
especially bdk2 f4 yg baru
dorg sumer sporting gler
n ade sorg ni plak muke die cam akak
huhuhu
the way die gelak pn same cam akak
rase cam akak dtg blk kt dorm awin
ahaks"

well...i've met a couple of girls,and my friends said we share the same faces-i dont think so...err...maybe a little,(and frankly,its scary).first is kak merissa ernie-her name starts with the letter M and E!(a cbner and currently in iium gombak) and the second one is emalina(me and ema managed to get a place in kmns and uia-but she chose kmns instead of uia)and now....this new girl in integomb who looks like me and she laughs just like me?my oh my,enough with faces then.now that is...freaky.

...

"from the outside i may be smiling,but inside...im crying"

love

My CBN gang

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

I was browsing through some pictures in my folder.and yes,i was inspired to write something about them.(or maybe because i don't really have something to post currently.ha-ha)

Back to front : Ami.Zai.Lala.Bihah.Fatin.Qilah.

Us.at Pizza Hut KLCC

Under the hot sun.Highlight to the date.(haha it was last year!)

Sweet memories....it was my 17th birthday when all of us reunited after Zaidatul transferred school(when we were in form 3 if im not mistaken).and after i changed to sbpi gombak(form 4).during our honeymoon year(2005)azela and fatin were separated from ami,qilah,and bihah.since both of them had taken arts stream in CBN.(but still,they were good together) :)

i still remember the look on our faces when we met on that particular date!excited, overjoyed , happy . no words could possibly desribe my feelings at that moment.we had fun.

but now,we longer contact each other,just me and azela and ami.the others?not really.we are on our own separate ways right now... :'(

finally!

yeay!!alhamdulillah.at last!i managed to change my blog template!i've tried a dozen times before this. i even asked kam to help me(yeah,like months ago).i tried asking afiq's favor.(but dia x sempat nak tolong.haha).and anyway,thanks for your help abg.(eventhough x menjadi tadi).*smile*i do appreciate it.

Another

Another poem, another line,
another girl pretending she's fine,
Another hour, another day, she
wishes she could get away,
Another heartbreak, another tear,
another excuse she doesn't wanna hear
Another paper, another pen, she
writes she wants to be strong again,
Another story, another lie,
another night that she will cry,
Another scream, another doubt, '
"Kick me while I'm down'' to him she'd shout
Another forced smile, another broken heart,
Just another girl wishing life would restart

-Memaine-

**found it on the internet.it makes me feel better...

tears

i don't really know what is wrong with me tonight.but i had tears in my eyes.sort of emotional tonight.

alone

"when i'm alone
it doesn't mean that i'm lonely...."

bored stiff

im into those emo and sad poems lately.working on a new one.erm.no other interesting stuff for me to do now.going to play final fantasy 10 at my brother's ps2.or maybe mafia,resident evil4,or tekken 5.whatever.end.

full

inbox full.again??adoi people.stop sending me forwarded messages and other kinds of messages.enough with messages from ym and friendster ok.

nocturnal

i am turning into an owl lately.haha.im nocturnal.(not fully okay)

emo

haha.lovely.emo.

Click to enlarge

Boring

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful...

today,indeed,it had been,well a tiring day(err...yes i can say that).but wait,(not exactly tiring,cume sakit pinggang je la).yeah.erm,i followed my parents to send my brother back to his hostel,Sekolah Menengah Sains Tuanku Jaafar,a 30-year-old school located in kuala pilah,negeri sembilan.

we took off at about 3.30pm and we reached his school at about 5.15pm.after about half an hour we decided to head back home.and unfortunately,we were caught up in traffic jam at bukit putus,(perfect).

feeling rather bored,i read my r.l.stine book(which i brought a couple from home).around 7 something,we stopped at the r n r seremban(rest area).there were loads of people there.(yes i mean packed since it was raining and plus it was maghrib at that time).solat and after 40 mins(we didn't eat there),we hit the road again.

yes,and finally i,i mean we reached home about 9pm(i managed to finish up both of my r.l stine books.yeay!).huhu.took a 30mins shower(typically me) and performed solat.here i am,right in front of this computer typing this boring story.fullstop.

***guess what people,you've wasted 52 seconds reading this post.ha-ha.pinch me.

survey 010

LAST
1. Friend you saw -- erm.nad,bella,mar,nesh,radzi.
2. Talked to on the phone -- daddy
3. Text -- naem

T O D A Y
1. Wearing -- tshirt and pants
2. Better than yesterday -- same like yesterday

T O M O R R O W
1. Is -- saturday
2. Got plans -- nope.im not much of a planner
3. Dislikes about
tomorrow -- weird question

F A V O R I T E
1. Number -- 9
2. Color -- black.pink
3. Season -- winter

C U R R E N T L Y
1. Missing someone -- a 100% yes
2. Mood -- bores stiff


Q U E S T I O N S / A N S W E R S
Q: What's annoying you right now?
-- boredom.murder me.

Q: Do you support long distance
relationships?
-- i guess so

Q: Is there a person who is on your
mind right now?:
-- indeed

Q : Do you think that person is
thinking of you too?:
-- maybe.maybe not.

Q: Are you a friendly person?:
-- depends.

Q: What color of shirt are you
wearing?:
-- gray

Q : When was the last time you saw
your dad?:
-- ohh,2 seconds ago!

Q: What were you thinking about before
you went to sleep?
-- a lot.but definitely i will think about someone.

Q: Are you in love at the moment?
-- yes.

crap

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful

day after day,things are goin on quite...erm..slow for me.yes i can say that.uhh.the same routine makes me disinclined to do work.or should i say,lazy.pathetic isn't it?indeed.and i think i sort of watch like a dozen of movies in a week.so,sue me people.hmm.rightnow...staring at my lil' brother sleeping with his biology book on top of him.he sure is downloading the contents in that book.(whoa,i certainly don't have anything to do right now)

a couple of hours ago my brother asked me questions about biology(as if i'm the one who gonna sit for spm this year)haha.its april and you don't have much time dear brother.study hard and make our family proud of you.i know you could do it. =)

erm,on the other hand...sometimes my daddy complains on how i've been spending most of my seconds,minutes and hours of the day in front of the laptop and he'd even ask me to do something else and study?(very funny daddy).my mommy had always told me that the wifi radiation is dangerous and it might affect our brains.

and yes,i was curious and i searched on the internet about those wifi radiations.here's a part of an article i found on the internet :

"Prof Leif Salford, of Lund University - who showed that the radiation kills off brain cells - is also deeply worried about wi-fi's addition to "electronic smog"."

"Wi-Fi systems emit much the same kind of radiation. Though virtually no research has been carried out, campaigners and some scientists expect them to have similar ill-effects. They say that we are all now living in a soup of electromagnetic radiation one billion times stronger than the natural fields in which living cells have developed over the last 3.8 billion years. This, they add, is bound to cause trouble"

"There has been less concern about masts, as they emit very much less radiation than mobile phones. But people living - or attending schools - near them are consistently exposed and studies reveal a worrying incidence of symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, nausea, dizziness and memory problems. There is also some suggestion that there may be an increase in cancers and heart disease."

and here's a little about mobile phones.

"A recent authoritative Finnish study has found that people who have used mobiles for more than ten years are 40 per cent more likely to get a brain tumour on the same side of the head as they hold their handset; Swedish research suggests that the risk is almost four times as great. And further research from Sweden claims that the radiation kills off brain cells, which could lead to today's younger generation going senile in their forties and fifties."

erm,gtg.and that's it for the time being.

miss

yes,obviously i miss you and im counting the days till i finally see you.eventhough im not quite sure when we are going to meet up though.hehe.xoxo!!

home

my lil' brother is at home now.huhu.yeay!!

First impression leadtrain fan

In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful


a few days ago,i've found the fan thingy(the ones we did during the leadtrain).and when i read it again.it was kinda funny.yeah.i dont think they are quite true but here goes...

ko cam pale gile2?hahaha

well...most of the first impressions of me, are not quite true..kot...huhu...